The Jeffening

Because bro. Adults need specific information to help plan. What are you, a teenager?

Jeff and Apryl’s house. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, you should probably text Jeff and gently ask why you’re invited to a party at a house you’ve never been to.

Saturday, August 22nd. We’re considering a rain date for August 29th, but we’ll realistically hold it rain or shine on the 22nd since it’s easier for you guys to plan for.

If it rains, I will stand on the porch saying “ah, we needed this” while everyone else quietly disagrees.

All-day, come-and-go backyard cookout with a fire. Casual, low-key, high-chaos. Bring your face. Apryl wants to see all of them.

Doors (metaphorically, it’s a backyard) open at 12pm and the party goes until whenever. Come and go as you please. Apryl has officially declared a 9pm cap. Let’s all be realistic about whether that holds. It’s Jeff’s party. Plan accordingly.

Food and drinks will be heavily supplied, along with some yard games. That said, definitely bring a chair, and feel free to bring anything specific you want to eat or drink. Want to bring extra food or drinks to share? Absolutely cool. The more the merrier.

Kids are welcome! BUT, full transparency, this is not a kid-proofed home or yard. Proceed at your own risk (and your children’s). Risk level is elevated due to the presence of Marv, who is reportedly inclined to do murder. 🔪 You’ve been warned.

Ugh, we wish. Manifest with us. If anyone has his number, this FAQ is also a formal invitation to him.

Almost positively, yes. There is no known method of avoiding this. If you see him approaching with a deck box, you may run, but he is patient and he will find you. Consider just learning the rules now to save time.

No. But in honor of the guest of honor, JNCO jeans, a pomade-flattened hairdo, and one (1) Slipknot shirt are all strongly encouraged.

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